There are many lies singles believe about singleness. Our culture, with is movies and television, say:
#1 Marriage is the Key to Happiness. So untrue! We know there are a lot of unhappy married folks. Many divorced or widowed people do with their singleness what they should have done before they married for the first time: live alone, find their own rhythms, date a variety of people, go into therapy, develop new friends and interests, learn how to live with and care for themselves.
#2 I’m ____ years old and still single — Something Must Be Wrong With Me! Singlehood is no longer a state to be overcome as soon as possible. It has its own rewards. Marriage is not the gateway to adulthood anymore. For most people it’s the dessert – desirable, but no longer the main course.
#3 Single means Incomplete. Completeness does not come from another person. I don’t have a boyfriend. And No, I don’t need a boyfriend. I am enough. And I am complete just the way I am. I choose to be single, just like I choose to not listen to people who make marriage seem like the only possible pinnacle a life can have.
#4 Single means Alone. Some would argue that it is better to be quirky alone than unhappy together. Being single isn’t the cause of loneliness, and marriage is not necessarily the cure. Everyone is lonely sometimes, even married people. But regardless of your being quirky or not, we all crave companionship and the closeness of a friend. As singles we must reach out to others and make friends. There are several ways to do this by: joining a Meet-up group, enroll in a class, try new things, begin to build a new life, etc.
After all, singleness is experienced by everyone.
Strolling © by joiseyshowaa on Flickr
Recent Phyllis Wilson Articles:
- Dear Wayne
- What Is Your Greatest Strength?
- The Purpose of Life is a Life of Purpose
- Have You Checked In With The Person In The Mirror Lately?
- Soul Food